New Rules?

I am a messy person. Actually...messy is pretty harsh...I would like to think that it is more expressively disorganized. I usually keep the kitchen and living areas very clean - but tend to throw my clothes and shoes on a chair, bed, or whatever ledge can hold it. I sometimes step over my pile of mail before I actually decide to open it and sometimes I leave the empty roll on the holder and simply put a new roll of toilet tissue on the countertop. Oh...and usually...you can find extra shoes and jackets in the backseat of my car. All these things irk J.

J is one of the cleanest guys I know except for my father. Growing up with a military father - one always had to have their rooms clean and beds made. I however always tried to slide around that rule because my contention is -- you are simply going to lay in it again. Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with cleanliness or presenting a tidy home to guests - I just don't see the point if it is me and the dog.

My logic on this must change. Because althought we keep our own systematic households at this time - we will eventually move in together. I can easily predict that J and I will be at odds all the time. I don't want to have the argument "You're a slob" ... "Well you are a neat freak...freak!" but I see it heading that way.

Please tell me...how did you do it? If there were differences...how did you compromise to prevent the high levels of annoyance that surely follow? Was it simply neat vs messy? Or are there other quirks I need to watch out for?